Something vs Someone

If there is one thing I've learned through past experiences, it's that, while people can ADD TO your happiness, you can't rely on people TO MAKE you happy. Your happiness has to come from you, from your life, the things you do, have done, made and achieve/achieved.

The people in your life are a great additive and certainly make things better at times,
and they are necessary for a healthy balance in life, but if you expect all of your happiness to come from people, or one person, your going to find yourself unhappy, really fast, and your relationship doomed from the pressure and expectation.

Of course the people you love make you happy, but if that's the only source of happiness in your life, then I suggest you find a hobby fast.

Sometimes, in life there comes a point where you have to chose between doing something that makes you happy and being close to someone that makes you happy. It's tough. But ultimately, if you don't do the things that make you happy, then you've chosen against both, because one day, you might resent the someone you chose over the something.

If you love that someone and they love you back, that's not going to change and you should support each other in your endeavors. Just because your paths separate for a while, doesn't mean they won't come back together again, or even have little paths that connect them throughout the separation.

I'm working towards something that I need and want to do for me. I'm sad that if all goes well I'll have to move away from my life up here, but I can't abandon something that I want just because its going to put strain on my life and relationship. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared, but I have to try.

So, to answer the question that everyone keeps asking - the question that keeps making me doubt my decision - Joe and I will make it work. Long distance. Duh.

If all goes according to plan anyway. I can't get ahead f myself here ;)

I want a day job... sometimes

Sometimes, I really love that I work at night because it gives me time to get things done.

I'm a healthier person now because I can never go out to eat. I cook all my own meals and I even started a clean diet... Mostly.

I work out 6 days a week because I have the time and energy.

I wake by the sound of my own internal alarm clock and let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter. I'm ALWAYS well rested. It's great

Most importantly, I feel great. I've never been as healthy, gotten as much needed sleep, or felt as great as I do now with my steady night job schedule.

But, my social life is incredibly scarce and some times it really gets to me. I rarely go anywhere other than work and to the grocery store. I miss out on soooo many things and it really makes me sad. People talk about getting together some nights and all I can do is pretend like I don't care that I can't go.

It's also frustrating that I can't really relate to people who work days. they're tired when I'm awake. They're awake when I'm sleeping. They want to go home when I'm ready to go out. And they go out when it's time for me to go to work.

That's really it. Those are the only bad things that I can think of at the moment. I don't know if I would want to trade my new lifestyle for a social life though.

I mean, there are two nights a week that I'm able to join everyone, so it's not like I never get to go out or be social. And I save money by not doing it as much.

I guess I really don't know what I want.

The Dangers of Getting Comfortable

I really love the non-profit organization that I work for and I really wouldn't mind working there for a while...

Unfortunately, my current position doesn't allow me to put to use the piece of paper that says I'm awesome for going through 4 years of higher education. So Naturally, I want to grow within the company and advance to a position that does require that degree. It's a desire that I have, but one that I've come to find I'm skeptical about acting upon.

How do you know whether or not it's too soon to apply for a different position within a company? How do you know when you've waited too long and stayed in a position longer than you should have. How do you know it wont be challenging, or time consuming? What if you don't like it?

All of these questions come to mind when seriously considering a move like this.

I've seen a couple of open positions that I could have applied for (and while none of them required a degree, they did all have the potential for advancement), but I haven't applied for any. I've come up with excuses like, it's too soon to try and move up already, or But how will I have time for grad school if I'm working a full time job with normal and sometimes extended hours? Well here's what I ask myself now. If there's an opportunity for something better now, why wait? Everything will fall into place right?

There is a position now that I really want, and it DOES require a college degree, which to be honest, scares the crap out of me. My job now is easy and doesn't require much of me. I have to be friendly, quick, efficient and have a pretty good memory. That's it. Sometimes I have to think on my toes, but there's always someone there to help me when I don't know what to do. So obviously, holding a position that would require a lot more out of me, that would require me to figure things out on my own, that would require me to use my education! It scares me senseless.

But I can't let my life be run by fear. I can't let fear stop me from advancing and achieving and excelling. I can't not do something because I'm afraid I'll fail. I just have to try and give it all I've got without letting comfort or fear get in my way.

Hello world. Here comes, Alex.

Big kid toys

So, now that I'm making enough money to comfortably sustain myself, of course, all I can think about is buying things that will make it hard.

I really want a new car and, theoretically, I can afford it. But, at the moment, it would make life a lot more financially challenging...
So, here's the plan:

1. Continue to work and save money.

2. Put time and money into fixing up my current car so that when the time comes to trade it in and buy a new one, I can get the most value out of it.

3. Buy myself other new things like clothes and shoes and makeup to keep me distracted :p

The point is, I can't get ahead if myself here. A new car can wait, especially since I already have a car that works well and that is completely paid off (thanks mom and dad). I should probably focus more on saving for now so that when I do need a new car and I can comfortable afford it, then I can easily get it.

My new grown up mentality seems to be overcoming my impulsive side (this morning I was fully prepared to go to a dealer ship and buy a car today, heh). Thank god I thought that one trough!

Higher Education

I've always been conscious of the fact that to get to where I want to be, I'll probably need more educational training, but until now, I hadn't considered Grad school.

Now a days, while obtaining a bachelors degree is a monumental feat, it's still sometimes not good enough. There are hundreds of people out there who might be more qualified than me or you who are trying to do the same thing. That puts a damper on things -- therefore, I have decided to go to Grad school. Hey, it can only help, right?

I've picked out a few schools with the program I want to apply for and I've researched what I need to do in order to get in. Now I just have to do it. Step one, get a kick-ass score on the GRE to make up for my less than perfect GPA. As soon as I collect my GRE study book from the person I leant it to, I'm going to start working my ass off to get prepared to make a really awesome score when it finally comes time to take the test.

I've also already started working on my personal statement, but I'm going to wait till I actually start applying to start hunting down old professors for letters of recommendation. Thats going to be one of the hardest things I think. I didn't make a point to become a memorable student to any of my teachers because I never thought I would go to grad school. Luckily, there are a few whom I think will be able to help me out.

I really want to do this. I'm scared out of my mind because I know it's going to be a huge challenge for me, but, I know that I can achieve what I put my mind to.

Rock and Roll baby.

The "Cha-ching" Instinct

For the next few weeks, I am going to be a minimalist. Why? Might you ask. Well, the answer is really quite simple... I'm broke.

Wait a minute. Don't you have a full time job now, with a steady pay check, making more money?

Well, yes, but as everyone knows, but probably doesn't realize, one thing that goes right along with graduating college and getting a full time job is the accumulation of bills. I am now paying every last one of my bills all by myself, and believe me, they cost a pretty penny. But that's not the problem. My pay checks more than cover them. So here's another little known fact that people don't really realize.

When you make more money, you spend more money -- It's true. I've been a spend-aholic lately. I just buy things on a whim without really even thinking about it. It's like, hey I want that -- purchase.
No more of this, "I want that, too bad I can't afford it" crap.

But that's not the problem either.

When you make more money, you want to live in a nicer apartment, in a nicer neighborhood, with nicer things. That'll be first and last months rent plus security, please. Oh you have a pet too? don't forget about the pet deposit.

Everything about being out of college and working a full time job makes life more expensive. And if you had to take out loans while in school, six months after graduation, you'll really start to regret that decision. Another hefty bill to add to the list.

So how do you avoid going broke?

Just be smart. Don't spend your money on every little thing you see and want. Set aside an amount out of every check to save. Budget the things you need and make compromises with yourself about whats important. If you want to have a night out with your friends, fine. but if you want to save some money, pick up some beer or wine from the convenient store and make it a night in instead.

It's okay to splurge a little now and then, just don't make a habit out of it.

Oh, and don't have kids, because in that case, you can just kiss all your money goodbye.

Pros and Cons of the Office Life.

Working in an office job where I actually get to sit down and work comfortably is so nice compared to working in a job where I'm running around like a crazy person, sweating, stressing out and constantly trying to catch my breath. I think a lot of people really don't understand how great it is or appreciate being able to sit at work. Well at least people who haven't worked in a restaurant.

I may just be biased -- after 4 years of sore legs and being exhausted after work, a desk job is like a blessing. But, it comes with it's obvious problems.

Problem number 1. I get tired of sitting. My legs are restless and I find myself constantly changing positions in my chair or trying to find an excuse to stand up and walk for a second. Maybe that's just me. While I do like to sit and work at my own pace, I often find myself wanting to move around. So I do. I think it's important -- it keeps your blood flowing, burns a few calories, and gets you away from the desk for a moment, clears your mind, whatever.

That being said, these are the excuses I use for getting up: using the restroom - several times through out my 8 hour shift, grabbing a snack from the break area, faxing something somewhere, printing something, or even just to walk around the room once (although some people look at me funny when I do that, heh).

Problem number two 2. It's harder to control your weight. Working in a restaurant, I was able to eat like complete crap and for the most part keep my body the same without much change. For example, everyday that I worked at beefs, I ate one meal there, which is probably somewhere between 800 and 1500 calories depending on what it was. But, the constant movement, luckily for me, didn't allow for much of it to show. Now, working at a desk job, I've had to change my diet completely and add in more exercise in order to keep my body the same. Granted, I'm not eating at beef's every day anymore, but I'm also not walking 10,000 plus steps every day anymore either. So, I had to compromise. Now, for the most part, I eat much healthier, I exercise more and I try to eat out less (because believe it or not, restaurant food is just bad for you). And, through all this, I've even managed to shed a few pounds, and I know I'm healthier -- so maybe this is more of a plus.

Problem number 3. Sometimes the day just goes by so darn slow. In a restaurant, you're always busy (for the most part), so time flies by. In the office, its often slow and quiet...and slow. So, those 8 hours can sometimes be painful. But, I get through it (having a computer in front of you all the time seems to help).

But despite all these problems (which for the most part seem to have easy solutions), working in an office, (in my opinion) is still way better than working at a job with unsteady pay, where you are on your feet all day and where you sometimes have to sweat a little. Just saying.

I Hate Goodbyes

Today was bitter-sweet.

I closed a chapter of my life by putting in my two weeks notice with Beef O'Brady's. It's strange because I've been working there for the past 4 years and for the last 3 of those 4, Beef's has been and incredibly large part of my life -- more so than it probably should have been. It's almost like leaving home. Most of my friends came from there as did my boyfriend and many of my meals - heh. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be done working there. This last year, serving has been very difficult for me, I'd even venture to say that I hated it. I'm ready to move on with my career, and I have. But like anything that's been a normalcy in ones life for so long, it's hard to say goodbye.

I know that every now and then I'll miss it. I'll miss making good tips, and getting free food, and meeting really nice people every now and then.

But I won't miss the bad tips - sometimes no tips. I won't miss the rude people, feeling like a servant, or feeling like everyone thinks I'm below them. I won't miss running around like a crazy person, and I won't miss being on my feet all day.

Needless to say, it's just time to move on. Goodbye Beef O'Brady's. It's been a good run.

I'm Career Girl Barbie!

As of today, it has been exactly 3 months since I started at my current job/first post college job. I have been working as a temp, with no benefits whatsoever, which of course I'm used to by now. But, I'm happy to say that this afternoon, when I came to work, my boss called me into her office to inform me that my temp hours are coming to a close.

After just 57 more temp hours, I can finally become an actual full time employee, complete with benefits and a raise! That means, when I have to go to work on the holidays while everyone else gets to enjoy them, I'll be making double time. It also means, I get health insurance and paid vacation as well as sick time.

I'm so excited, I'm finally starting to live like an actual grown-up. Yay me :)

Steps to Starting My Career.

I feel like I keep getting idea's and running with them for a little while before losing track and just completely forgetting about it, or putting it off.

I have come up with yet another of my "kick start my career" ideas. And then some.

1. My whole, work for a year, save money so I can move to New York plan -- Still in progress.

2. Learn technical writing -- I've been wanting to do this for a while now, but never took a class in school, so I'm going to do it on my own. I'm finding that there are a lot of things that I didn't do in school that I am now wishing I would have. Anyway, there are lots of job opportunities for tech writers out there. More so than for creative writers at least.

3. This is a new one. -- Get an internship -- So far I have applied to one... I still have to do some research on this one.

4. This is my most recent revelation. Something I have thought of in the past but never actually considered doing. Why? I don't know. -- Become a freelance writer -- I like this idea best so far. I mean, it's great for experience and it pays. I can still have a regular full time job and do this on the side. I still have to decide what kind of freelancing I want to get into and how to do it, but I will figure it out.

It's easy for me to plan out ways to get started on my career. The hard part is actually doing it. Sure, I plan on saving money, but I love to spend, so how much money can I realistically save in a year? Also, I can apply to internships all I want, but there is no guarantee that I'll get one. And then there's the whole problem of trying to find one that allows me to stay in Tampa.
I can make a resume for freelancing and put myself out there, but there are hundreds, thousands of other freelancers out there...

I'm not trying to be negative here... But I suppose I am aren't I. I'm just gonna go for it and see what I get.

Okay, so Here's the Plan

I finally got word about the HR position for Aramark… They decided not to do second interviews and they decided to go with a candidate who had more experience in the HR field, because of course, in the career world, it’s all about experience… For the most part anyway. I didn’t have the Wow Factor. And even if I did, I didn’t get a chance to show it.

But it’s okay. I’m slightly disappointed, but also slightly relieved. I can finally stop stressing out about it, and now, I don’t have to worry about losing track of my goals.

I’ve recently discovered a TV show on Netflix that I really like. Ugly Betty. (I know this sounds like a quick change of subject, but this is actually related). It has a good story line and it’s all about a girl who is following her dreams to one day run a magazine, except she’s completely the opposite of the image of a person who does that kind of thing. There’s a whole lot more to it than that, but that is the basic subject of the show. Watching it has gotten me all fired up and excited about one day living in that big city, (New York, if you don’t know which I’m referring to). I want to live an exciting life in the city, pursuing the career that I’ve been dreaming of, and I want to do it while I’m still young.

So, I am giving myself a year. One year to stay in Tampa and work, save money and prepare myself for my goals. After that year, if everything goes accordingly, I’m moving to New York City and giving it all I’ve got…

That’s the plan…

Do You Realize?

I’m starting to realize how important it is for me to do things… And not just things, but things that are important to me. I mentioned a few posts ago that I haven’t really been writing, or doing much of anything for that matter. To be honest, it kind of wears down on you.
Well, actually, at first it was nice, like a vacation, only I was still going to work, but other than that, not really doing anything else. I’ve been relaxing, having me time, playing games, whatever. Everybody needs time to do things like that. But it’s also important to stay focused on your goals, both long and short term.

I feel like I have lost focus. I was feeling really blah today, like I had nothing to do. Nothing but watch Netfilx and play games on the Wii. Then I remembered about my newsletter. It needed some edits so I decided to get them done. It felt good to be doing something that has a purpose and is important, not just to me, but other people too.

I’ve decided that I’m going to stop dilly dallying. Enough of this, “I have a full time job, when I’m at home, I want to relax” attitude. That’s how people lose themselves and get stuck in ruts. I don’t want that to happen to me, so I’m making a promise to myself to not lose focus and to work on things that I need to do. I can still take my me time and relax every now and then, but, only if I’ve been proactive. I’m going to do things that are valuable with my time, like read, do some writing, research potential future positions I might want to hold and figure out how to get myself there. I had said before that I’m going to study for my teaching certification. Maybe it’s about time I get started on that…. Maybe.

Anyway, this is more of a rant than anything else I suppose. Just trying to do things, and this is where I’m starting.

Moving on up

Good news: I'm moving on to the the next interview phase of Aramark's operation"hire an HR assistant."

Apparently things are moving a little slower than they would like, so they aren't setting up actual interviews yet, just informing the candidates of their status.

At this point, everything is becoming a little more real for me. I could be the HR assistant for a company I've been working for as a regular employee for nearly 4 years. How strange would that be? Would my friendships within the company change? Would people not respect me as a member of HR because I've been working at a regular level for so long? Will I like it? What if I don't?

I don't know. All I do know is that I have to project confidence at these next interviews if I want the job. At this point, I'm starting to think I really do. I'm ready to be doing something with my life, and I feel like having a real job that requires an education is a good way to start.

Here goes nothing.

Confidence is the Best Policy

So I had my interview on Tuesday with Aramark, and I think it went pretty well. She asked me several questions, to all of which I gave a quick, well thought out response. She said I seemed really prepared (points!) and she seemed pretty happy with all of my answers. At the end of the interview, she asked me if I had any questions for her, so of course, I asked what she was looking for in a candidate, and what do you know, the response she gave me matched a lot of the answers I gave her during the interview (more points?)

I was told that she said I did seem a little nervous, which of course is never a good thing, so if I make it to the next interview phase, I will most certainly have to project an aura of confidence.

I find out next week about the second interview.

Still hoping for the best.

Sometimes You Just Don't Feel Like It.

One thing I have noticed that came along with graduating college, getting a full time job and joining the real world of adulthood, is a lack of interest in writing (which is bad considering that's what I went to school for). I haven't done much creative work since graduating, and since getting a job I've done nothing creatively at all. On top of that, since getting a job, I've been feeling really slackery (yes I know that's not a real word. Embrace it) when it comes to my newsletter. I'm working on it. Just a lot more slowly than I should be.

I like to write. So why am I not doing it? Well, I suppose one reason would be that I get satisfaction out of writing in my blog, which I feel I have been pretty consistent with. But the main reason, I think, is just, well, after spending all day at work, I don't feel like it.

I wake up at six, leave the house at seven, get to work at eight, work till four and get home at five. By that time, all I want to do is relax for a bit. Then after some time goes by, joe gets off work. Of course, i want to spend some time with him, so I go over to his house for a bit. I still have to worry about dinner, working out and possibly showering. On top of that, all this has to be done by 10:30 because by then I'm ready to pass out.

I never realized how difficult working 40 hours really was. It takes a lot out of you and it makes all of your other little responsibilities in life that much more tedious. I'm not saying that writing is a chore. I'm just saying that sometimes, even doing the things you like has to take a back seat.

My social life for example. Many of my friends, being servers, work late and sleep in, which means they want to go out late. Yeah, I have to be up at 6. I think I'll pass.

Being an adult is rough...

Luckily, tomorrow I will begin working the night shift at my job. Maybe then my life will go back to some form of normalcy. For now.

Interview

So I officially have an interview with ARAMARK for the hr assistant job and I'm really excited. Not that I don't like my current job but I want a job where I can put my education to use. I paid for it, I need to benefit from it. I have a great job working with great people and great benefits, but it's better for someone without a college education. Now, I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch and assuming that I'll get hired, I'm just defending my urge to search for a better job even though I just started working for a pretty good one.
The interview is Tuesday and I'm hoping for the best.

Hi-ho!

I'm so excited for Friday (for more than one reason). First of all, I will be receiving my first full paycheck for a full week of work. Yay!
I just can't wait to finally be making steady money, and not be stressed about it all the time, and not be living from paycheck to paycheck. I imagine it will be quite nice. Unfortunately, the check after that will only be for two days because I'm going home on Wednesday for my sisters wedding which is Friday and the second reason I'm excited for that day. After that, it'll be full-time work from here on out.

Thats right, my older sister will be tying the knot this weekend. The ceremony is Friday and the reception, Saturday. I imagine being at home all week will be one big stress-fest, but, I'm still excited. We are having the bachelorette party on Thursday. It's not going to be your typical shenanigans filled party, but more like a nice girls night out on the town. It should be fun and simple. We don't want to get wasted and crazy the night before the wedding and then be all hung over the next day at the ceremony. The last thing we need is for someone to throw up all over the place.

It'll be nice to spend some time at home, especially since it will probably be the last chance I have for a while (what with a full-time job and all).

One more day of work to go, then let the festivities begin!

The Pros and Cons of College

Things i miss about college:

Free food.

Free concerts.

Money from the government.

Having an excuse for why my driver license address is different from my mailing address.

Student discounts... (even though, I technically still get them, heh).

A really nice gym to attend as often as I like without having to pay a monthly membership fee.

Free daily printing.

Being able to mold my schedule in a way that lets me sleep in.

Not having to work every day.

Having a bond with literally everyone I see, every day.

Football games.


Things I don't miss about college:

Class.

Homework.

Having to pay large sums of money to the school at the beginning of every semester.

Group projects.

Research papers.

Math.

Stressing out about when or if I'm going to graduate.

Parking.

Ever-rising tuition prices.

Fraternities (no offense to anyone who is in a fraternity).

All nighters.

Dining halls.

Being poor... All the time.

Football games.

Decisions, Decisions.

I’m feeling a little bit torn at the moment…

There is an HR assistant job that I kind of want to apply to. It pays more than the job I currently hold and it’s daytime hours (which may or may not be a benefit, because to be honest, I kind of like the idea of sleeping in and not having to be to work till 4). But here is why I’m torn… I like my new job so far. It’s a little hectic and stressful at times but everyone is nice and it’s fun and the pay is good. But, the HR pay is better, it’s with a company I’ve been working with for almost 4 years (yes it’s at ARAMARK, which while a plus, can also be a negative ), and it’s really close to where I live. I have to drive 30 minutes to get to my new job I could ride my bike to ARAMARK. But My new job has great benefits. Double time pay on holidays, a fully paid medical coverage plan, a 115,000 life insurance plan… just to name a few. ARAMARK… you can get a health care plan through them, but you have to pay for it, but, you don’t have to work holidays. I don’t know about life insurance, but I know they have a 401K plan. I think my new job has some sort of a retirement plan also, But I’m not really sure.

I think I’m just going to apply for the position and then just go from there. I’ll see how it plays out and depending on all of the circumstances and whatever else, I’ll make a decision. Even if I were to apply, there’s always a chance that they wouldn’t even consider me. So I might as well, right?

I’m going to do it. And even if I do get it, I might not take it. It all just depends.

I Must be an Idiot

Gah! I'm so pissed! Why am I still working at beefs? Why did I pick up a shift tonight. I got here at 5 and I'm supposed to be first cut, meaning I would be home by 10, 11 at the latest. But, of course, people who work here are stupid and unreliable, so the bartender called out two minutes before his shift, which also started at 5. So, that means, lucky me, who picked up this stupid shift, I am the only one old enough to cover the bar shift. Now I have to stay here till 1 and close. And on top of that, I hate working bar.

New Job, Whoo!

I have officially worked 3 full days at my new job, and so far, I like it.

It's interesting and fast paced. The people there are nice and they take the time to train you properly without just throwing you in. And speaking of training, it's pretty extensive. They take at least two weeks to train their new employees, and for good reason. There is a lot of information to learn and not to mention, a program that doesn't exist anywhere else because it was designed specifically for them. And then there's the phones, and the extensions and all the hundreds of people who work for life link that you have to call or page or contact in some way after certain information about some of the patients is obtained. You have to know what to do with the information you receive and how to do it. It all seems very complicated to me now, but with time I'm sure I'll get it.

For now I'm just taking my time with it and trying my best to learn so I can actually start working, because until I'm trained, I really can't do anything. So let me rephrase what I said at the beginning of this post...

I have officially completed three days of training for my new job, and I can't wait to actually get started.

They know that I have plans for my future and that I have other career goals and they're okay with that. I think it's great when companies a person works for support that they have other career goals that don't involve their company. Companies that actually care about their employees and support their decisions to one day leave and find work else where because it's what they want to do and still hire them knowing that their stay is a temporary one. I really appreciate and admire companies and organizations who's main focus is not how much profit they are going to make, but it's more about the people the are going to help.

Birthday Present!

Happy Birthday to me!!! I finally got a full-time job and I start tomorrow. Yay.

Company - A non-profit organization

Job Title - Communication Coordinator

Pay - 12 dollars an hour

:)

It's temp to hire, so , I wont technically have the job until three months pass and they decide they like me. But I'm very excited and I cant wait to start.

My Birthday was great. Went out and celebrated with most of my favorite people, and had a blast. Might have had a bit too much to drink, and  had too leave a little early, but it was all in good fun.
I can say this though, I think I'm done with partying hard... I know everyone says that, but I'm for real. I'm 23 and I'm getting too old to make a fool of myself in public. Drinking is okay from time to time, but not in excess, and I think I'm going to start living by that. Maybe.

Progress -- Finally!

I have been on an interview frenzy lately. Seriously, I've had 3 interviews in the past week. The first, I decided wasn't for me -- it was with a financial planning company, and I think we all know I'm bad with money, heh. The second interview was with a Temp agency that is going to try and help me find a job. Right now, they are looking into putting me with a non-profit medical organization, desk work, 12 dollars an hour-- sounds good to me :) I'm still waiting to hear back from that though. The third interview was with Banana Republic, which of course loved me and want me to start right away. For the time being, I am accepting that job. I would rather have a job secure because when Beef's closes in a month, I'm screwed. I figure I can work 4 days serving still and 3 to 4 days at Banana. Then, when Beefs closes, I'll try to pick up more hours at Banana.

If the temp agency pulls through for me and I get an interview with the other company and they decide to hire me, I will obviously, most definitely take it. 12$  > $8, so there's no question to that. But, even so, I might keep a shift or 2 a week at Banana, because I would feel bad quitting right after they hire me.

I'm not selling out on my goal to get into publishing. I'm just putting it on hold. Right now, any job is better than no job, and dream jobs can wait. I'll still get there one day.

With More Time, Comes More Possibilities

So, in two days, my application for the publishing institute in Colorado is due...

I don't think I'm going to send it. Tuition is incredibly expensive and there is no financial aid available for this program. It would be utterly impossible for me to continue to pay all my bills and save of the money to go to this school in 3 and 1/2 months.

I think, instead, I'm going to continue to work and save my money and just apply for the next term, which of course isn't for another year, but at least that actually gives me time to save up.
I just found out about it too last minute. And with 0 dollars to start out, it's just not plausible to try and save up the money for this thing so quickly. I need more time, so that's what I'm giving myself.

So, I'm going to hold on to my reference letters, work on my credentials, and save up my money, and next year, hopefully I'll get accepted with the ability to pay for the program in full.

Productivity - Let's do This!

Those of you who read my blog back when I started writing in it again last August, may remember a post about my garden that I started. You also may have noticed that, not once have I updated about it, or even mentioned it until now. Well, that's because it was a complete and utter failure.

Exhibit A:

Here, where my pumpkins and squashes should have grown, is a very large patch of weeds... Everything else looks pretty much the same, if not worse.

One thing can be determined by this... I'm no gardener. I tried.

So today, I made use of my time, and this is what I did:

 It's no garden, but it looks much better. Hooray for being productive!

Just a Little Tid-Bit

I want a job.

Time to start studying for my teaching certificate while I continue to search for a job... Any job really.

Okay, not any job, I'm obviously a little picky. I'm okay with being a teacher if that's what I have to do for now. But I'm still going to work towards my goal of getting into publishing. That dream is here to stay. Even if I can't do it just yet.

How Many Licks Does it Take to Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop

Drinking -- the solution to many of life's problem.

Here's to not giving up.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea... I Hope

It's been exactly 5 weeks since my interview in New York, and I finally heard back from them. Unfortunately I won't be moving to New York just yet. At least not for that job. It's kind of bitter sweet actually. I'm sad because this was the first thing that was within my grasp, but I'm happy because, my life doesn't have to drastically change just yet.

I don't really have much to say about the situation aside from that. Like I said, it's bitter sweet.

I guess I'll just have to keep job searching. I applied to 4 jobs yesterday and I'm going to keep applying until I get something.

Two Weeks

Buenos.

So, as of today it has officially been 4 weeks since my interview in New York... That means I should be finding out about my status with the program sometime within the next two weeks. Scary. I'll be sure to update as soon as I find out.

Aside from that, my sister's bridal shower is tomorrow. I've been planning it for the last 5 weeks or so and it's finally here. I think it should be a pretty good turn out, although, I'm feeling pretty nervous because I'm hosting it and am pretty much in charge of making sure that it's fun and what not. If it sucks, it's my fault, and that's pretty stressful, heh. But I'm ready. I think I'll actually be kind of sad when it's all over because planning this shower has actually given me something to do over the past month, aside from just work. It's kept me from becoming a complete bum.

Speaking of being a bum, I think a couple posts ago, I promised updates on new endeavors I'm looking into. Well I was actually offered an opportunity to volunteer my time to write a newsletter for a non-profit organization! It's really awesome because not only can I put that on a resume as something relevant to what I want to do, but I have complete freedom with it for the most part. I design the layout, I write the articles, I can come up with topics to feature in the newsletter, and I edit it. The person who offered me the opportunity also edits it after me of course, because its very difficult to catch all of your own mistakes, but it's great because it's basically giving me real world experience in a large quantity of things in my field. I just finished my first issue, and I'm thinking I'm going to write it as a bi-weekly newsletter. So not too often, but not too few and far between.

I'm glad to have a project to work on. It helps me to be less of a bum when I actually put my mind to work on something, because to be honest, as time has gone by where the only thing in my life that I've had to do is wait tables, I've become more and more of a lazy bum. I don't like being a bum, it really takes a lot of excitement out of life, and the longer you spend being a bum, the harder it is to pull out of it. So thank goodness I'm getting out before I've really sunk in :)

Anyway, that is all.

Until next time.

My Stomach and I are Not Friends

I hate heartburn.

It is so painful that I literally can not sleep :/

Does this happen to anyone else? It's like constant, intense pain that starts from the center of my body and radiates out my chest and back.

The worst part is I'm not even 100 percent sure what causes it, ( although I'm pretty sure it's dairy). Last year, I was getting sick around about once a month. It was awful. It seriously made me hate my life. Then one day, when I was sick, I was talking to my dad about what I'd eaten that day, and he suggested that maybe I was sensitive to dairy. Impossible! I thought, because I eat so much dairy everyday! But then I thought about it and decided maybe it is dairy, maybe that's why I get sick so often. Now, the way I get sick from heartburn is not the normal way most people do. For me, it's like an outbreak that'll last for days until I finish a full treatment on the acid reducer. Then it goes away until I eat something that causes it again.

So I thought about it. Whenever I was sick, if I ate anything dairy, the heartburn would instantly flare up and become excruciatingly painful. Maybe its not caused just by eating dairy, maybe it's once I eat a certain amount, my stomach just can't take it anymore and it explodes.

So I tried it. I cut dairy out of my diet and within just a couple of days I was better without even using the acid reducer. So, I continued to leave the dairy out of my diet. After two months went by with no new outbreaks, I was convinced. But, I missed my dairy. So, I introduced it back into my diet in small amounts. Still no milk, no yogurt and only sour cream every now and then. I started eating cheese pretty much everyday, and a few other things every now and then.

Seven months went by, and I still hadn't gotten sick. It was definitely the dairy, (which I'm sure we all agree is really odd).

Then I got sick again one day after I ate way more food than my stomach could probably hold. I knew it wasn't from dairy because I hadn't eaten any dairy that day. So now I'm like okay, great, I can't just stuff my face till I'm about to explode every now and then. That sucks, but fine.
That was two months ago, and here I am, sick again. I'm not sure what may have caused it today. I did eat a lot, but not that much more than normal, and for some reason, today it's especially painful. So much so that I can't even sleep. Normally I'm able to fall asleep and then by morning I feel better. But right now, I just can't sleep no matter how hard I try. I'm just way too uncomfortable.

There is no real point to this post. Sometimes focusing on something makes me feel better, so i figured I'd write in my blog while simultaneously being able to complain about it, which also makes me feel better sometimes. Anyway, I guess I'll try to ignore the pain and go to sleep. And after today, I'll monitor my dairy intake even more strictly, and I'll make sure never to eat more than what makes me no longer hungry. As much as I love stuffing my face every now and then, it's just not worth the pain I suffer afterwards.

Goodnight all.

Disappointment

Sighs...

Disappointment. I went to volunteer on Saturday and it was totally sketchy, so I bailed without even getting out of my car.

But I'm looking into new opportunities :)

I'll update later!

Reaching for My Goals.

So I decided the other day that I am going to be proactive in making progress with my career goals. You know what they say, "things don't just fall in your lap, you have to actively work towards earning what you want."
So... I e-mailed a couple local magazines asking if they needed any volunteers, just so I could get some kind of experience. Amazingly, I got a bite.

They e-mailed me about a casting that they are having this Saturday -- as in tomorrow -- and said they could use some extra help. They sent me a flyer with the exact time and location, and I guess I'm just going to blindly go out there and volunteer myself to whatever they need help with. I'm kind of excited... but also really nervous. While I have no idea what to expect or who I even need to talk to when I get there, I'm still just going to go and see what happens -- I'm gonna wing it.

Then, I'll add that volunteer experience to my resume and hopefully, it will help make me more noticable as a worthy candidate for any kind of entry level position in the publishing world. Who knows, I might even make some connections while I'm at it.

I will update about how it goes later. For now, I have to continue my life as a waitress chasing the dream, and get ready for work.

Options

I went to an information session yesterday for a 4 week graduate course in publishing. It's at a school in Colorado that only accepts 96 students per term and only has one term a year. On top of that, it's really expensive...

Aside from all that, it seems like a pretty smart option. The girl who hosted the information session is a USF graduate who went to the institute the summer after she graduated. She now works in the publishing industry and says that she wouldn't be where she is today without having gone to the institute. That's where she made her connections and learned everything she knows about the publishing industry. That's where she got the recommendations she needed to get the internship in New York that brought her to the career she is in now. A career in publishing.

It all sounds pretty amazing to me and I would certainly love the opportunity to attend such a program. I think at the very least, I'll apply and see if I get accepted.

Keeping my options open, that's what I'm going to do. I think that's the best way to eventually get where I want to be.

A Little Birdy Told Me...

I just read probably one of the most discouraging things I could have read about getting a job in the publishing industry, and how freaking difficult it can be.

Lets see. It mentioned something about assuming that all of my competition for any job I would apply to is a well read, 4.0 Harvard graduate, with all the money and connections they could possibly need to get an in for a great job with a great company... It also said that getting a job by just sending out resumes it highly unlikely. That you have to exploit and use till they're dry, any and all connections that you have in the industry; be it your cousin's-friend's-brother's-uncle, or someone you lived next door to when you were six. It said, if you don't have contacts, find contacts. It couldn't have stressed any more, how important contacts are...

I might have a few... I would have to dig deep and talk to people who are complete strangers, but I suppose it's better than nothing. Of course, my 3.16 from USF is nothing compared to Sally So-n-so's 4.0 from Harvard... Here it is already. I just graduated and I'm already thinking, why didn't I work harder? Why didn't I actually try? Why didn't I do better?

There is a glimmer of hope. It said that you have to really want it. And I do. I've been talking about getting into publishing for about 3 years now. I have to really want it, and I just have to figure out what it is about me that makes me different from every one else, what I have that they don't have. I have to figure out what makes me better, and I have to flaunt it.

So here is what I did / am going to do. I took notes on what I have to do. I'm going to make an attempt to do all those things. I'm going to make my resume immaculate and I am going to figure out how to win someone over, first in a cover letter, then in an interview. I am going to keep my options open and do what I can, but I am going to work as hard as possible toward getting the career that I want. That's it.

I'm in a New York State of Mind

I finally had my first interview :)

It's still the only interview I've been offered, but definitely better than nothing. AND, its in New York City. I'm actually sitting on a train, leaving the city as I speak. One hour and thirty minutes back to Connecticut, and then tomorrow, about 5 hours of travel time to get back home.

It was a great trip. Got to see a lot of really great friends, check out some cool places, (for example, the restaurant that supposedly invented the hamburger), and experience an "in the fast lane" life in the city. :)

The interview went pretty well I think. It was four hours long. They didn't really give me any feed back, but I'll find out about my status in 4 to 6 weeks.

I'll update more later, but for now, my phone is about to die, and I have to peace out.

OHMYGOSH

Okay, so wow, I just checked the interview dates for the New York Job and an interview opened up on one of the days I'm going to be in New York.

I just got hit with a wave of excitement :)

I'm going to do the interview and see what happens...

One Job, Two Job, Red Job, Blue Job

It kind of amazes me how quickly I've become discouraged by this whole "graduating college and trying to find a job" thing. I've applied to so many jobs over the past month and still have only been asked for an interview by one. On top of that, the one job I was asked to interview for seems to be impossible for me to even get to for an interview.

It's just so stressful. I know that most of the time, when people graduate college, they don't just automatically get a job right then and there. It takes a lot of time and effort. I know that for most people things don't just fall into place. But I wish that I could be one of the lucky people who it does fall into place for.

Maybe I just need to take a step back and relax. Stop focusing so much on it and stressing over it. I do have a job for the time being that supports me, and has been supporting me for the past 2 years. I mean, it's definitely not a job I want to be working at for too much longer, but, it's been doing the job and in can continue to do so until I do finally get another job.

My advice to myself, and anyone else who is suffering through this same dilemma, would be to just take a chill pill and keep working at it. It'll happen eventually. I hope.

Change May be Scary, but Somtimes it's Essential

I spoke to someone the other day who used to work in the publishing industry...

He gave me a lot of advice and information on the career path I'm trying to walk down. As I of course suspected, he told me that in order to get anywhere in this industry, I'll probably have to move to New York or LA. He also told me that I would have to start from the absolute bottom, which I also knew. But he gave me some words of encouragement. He told me it would be difficult, because the publishing industry isn't what it used to be, and it still continues to change towards a new direction. But, he did tell me that no matter what, writing will always need editing, and if I work really hard and I really want it, then I can do it.

So, clearly, I have to look into moving, as I knew I would. I know I'm not ready yet, because I have a lease and a few other things keeping me here for now, but, I'm still going to start sending applications outside of Florida. Maybe after I have some money saved up and I'm able to take care of the things I have here in Florida, I might get an offer that I can take, and I can go... I'm not in a hurry, but I am very anxious. I'm still hoping to find something in The Sunshine State for now, but I'm willing to take my other options into consideration.