FML

I'm going to try and remain as positive as possible for this post. But it's going to be pretty difficult. Things can always be worse.

So, I mentioned a few posts ago that I was in a car accident that totaled my car. To sum it up: no injuries, I had insurance, and I was able to get a new car out of the deal.

The car buying process was grueling. But I finally did it. I bought a car I truly loved. I am so happy with it.

I've had my brand new car a whole 3 days now. 3 days of driving bliss, feeling so happy and accomplished in my new baby. Her name is The Baby Beast, by the way. TBB for short.

Today at Publix. In the parking lot. Someone backed into me. And now my brand new car is dented. As you can imagine, I'm not very happy about this... Poor TBB.

My car still runs. I'm not hurt. The damaged can be fixed through insurance. Positive, it's not that bad, blah blah blah.

But I'm still pretty upset. I can't help it. I'm trying to look at the bright side of things. But this really just sucks. Who buys a car and barely has it three days before getting hit and essentially ruining the car!? And even more so, after I was just in an accident!

I have been driving so safe and being so careful. I checked twice before backing out of my spot at publix today. I had a bad feeling for some reason. But there were no break lights on behind me. And no one was coming up the isle. So I went. Then I put my car in drive. Just as I was ready to drive off. Crunch! Crash! Bang! I was hit. My life was over (or so the drama queen in me beleived at the moment).

But, I'm keeping my cool. My car will be fixed. And it will be good as new. Plus, the girl who hit me is an organ donor.

Sigh. FML

Change can be hard, but it can also be pretty amazing.

One of the coolest things about growing up, I think, is getting together with an old friend, someone you've spent some time growing up with, and just talking about it. Talking about getting older. About maturing. About new insights, new plans, new goals. Talking about how you've changed. Getting to know each other in an entirely new way. As adults. Its a pretty cool thing if you ask me.

As we get older, obviously, we change. We become different people. Of course we're always the same person, but we do go through so many changes, that sometimes, you think back on past things and you're like: "I can't believe I ever did that!"

Its fun to reminisce on what was, and talk about what is now, and whats to come. That's one of the great things about this time in a young persons life. There is still so much to come. Whether it's life after college, life before college, life between college, life without having gone to college -- whatever. This is the time in your life where you learn and you grow and you become. You can make it or break it. Or even just do nothing. Just coast. You are building the foundation for your life.

You plan for your future. Sometimes those plans change as things play out. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they might not be exactly what you pictured, but maybe they're better. Maybe it's something you couldn't have imagined. And that's another of the fun parts. Seeing how it plays out, and enjoying it as you go through it.

So, Have fun, let loose, enjoy your youth. But also, work hard, dream big, be ambitious, make your life what you want it. Or even just discover what you want. It's all part of the ride.

And get together with your friends and have a heart to heart. Rediscover eachother. Learn about eachothers dreams and aspirations. Observe how they've changed. Who they are vs who they used to be. It's a really phenomenal experience. I think.

Today I'm grateful for change. Without it, life would not move forward.

First World Problems - The Joys of Buying a Car.

My mom has been helping me out a lot lately. She's pretty great. I'm so grateful for her.

The latest challenge she has taken on with me has been car shopping. OhMyGod I. Hate. It.

It's so exhausting and such a hard decision. This car? Or that car? Which one is better? And the sales people are so pushy. Like seriously. Leave me alone for 5 minutes. You're not making me want to buy the car more by doing that. You're making me want to punch you in the face! And then there's the whole money factor.

1. You have to go into debt to buy a car (unless you're loaded). Boo.

2. If it's your first time buying a car (which for me it is) you have to factor in that new, big fat payment. That means either get something shitty you don't want so you can still afford to have a life, or, get what you want and eat ramen noodles every night until your debt is paid off... Regardless, it means cutting back. Boo.

3. Financing. Boo, boo, boo. If you're like me and you don't really have too much credit established, you're basically shit-out-of-luck. Boo.

So, to sum up. Buying a new car sucks.

I'm going for what I want, so I plan to be broke for quite some time... That is, if I can ever manage to get one.

I'll be glad when this whole experience is over.

Advise - Don't get in car accidents that total your car which worked perfectly fine and was free. Oops.

"When Life Gives you lemonade, Gife Life Lemons. Life Will be Like, Whaaaaaaat?"

The title of this blog is a quote I recently heard that I really liked.

We all know the old saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I like this sort of "anti joke" which conveys the opposite, because, sometimes you have to change things up -- do things differently. Do the unexpected and throw everyone for a loop. I like that concept a lot. Spontaneity, randomness, thinking outside the box, individuality!

I feel like it fits my mantra in life right now. I'm all about finding my individuality, being spontaneous and showing life what I'm made of. It works.

Life has given me some lemons yet again, but I'm definitely going to make some lemonade. I was in a car accident yesterday that, due to the circumstances of the crash, could have been a lot worse for me than it was. That's the lemonade. The car accident, was obviously the lemon.

 More Lemons: fractured hand and bruised ribs, totaled car, my fault, insurance price hike, damages to cover...

Lemonade?: Despite the severity of the crash, my injuries are quite minor, I recently upped my insurance coverage so I'm totally covered, I've been wanting a new car, so here's my chance to make that happen (not that I have a choice), I'm fortunate enough to have the means to afford the costs that I'm about to receive do to the situation, and I didn't get a ticket.

Funny how not that many lemons can make quite a bit of lemonade...

So, Life, all I have to say is, take your lemon rinds and eat them :) Thanks for all the juice.

Theres no order to this... Much like my mind.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had a million things to write. Now that I actually have time... I'm blank. Roller coasters have never really been my thing, yet I seem to be in this constant state of up and down. One minute I'm soaring, high as can be, then suddenly, the drop comes. I hate those. They're so fast and discomforting. And it always takes too long to get back up. I keep waiting for the up that's not followed eventually by a drop. Maybe in life, that doesn't exist. Maybe we just get used to the drops, or just learn to deal with them. Learn to accept them as part of the ride. I guess without the drops, the rest wouldn't be as good...

As a part of my journey to self discovery/self betterment/self understanding, I decided to start meditating. At first, it was really hard. I couldn't seem to get my mind to stop going. I mean really. Have you ever tried to think of nothing before? It's not as easy as it sounds. But as I continued to do it, I began to realize that it's not really thinking about nothing. It's more about bringing yourself to a still, quiet place / state. With practice and patience, I've been able to get myself there a couple times now. And it's incredible. Its such an amazing way to really bring a sense of calm and peace to your mind. It puts you at ease. It's like going to a happy place. I intend to continue with it and I hope to get better. The more I can get myself to that state, I think the more clarity and peace of mind I will feel.

I've done a few impulsive things lately, including (but not limited to) the purchase of a GoPro Camera. It's. Awesome. I did this for 2 reasons. 1.) I plan on doing a lot of exciting adventurous things in the near future. And 2.) I want to get back into my hobby of video editing :) This is a good start I think. I already have two plans in motion for my little camera. I'm not sure what order these will be happening, but my go pro will be enduring a sky diving experience (without me of course!) and then a snorkeling adventure! :) (hopefully soon to follow will be a scuba diving adventure too!)  More to come. Obvi!

I think something that is really important in life after college is finding your own. Don't get stuck in the same monotony that so many people seem to get into. Change it up. Do it differently. You'll be better for it. And my intention is to figure out just how to do it <3

Follow Your Dreams :)

Do you ever pay close attention to your dreams? Some of the greatest minds in psychology say that dreams are very telling of whats going on inside of us. I believe that our dreams speak for our souls. We can find out what our souls are trying to tell us if we pay close attention to our dreams and the symbols that present themselves within them...

Three symbols stuck out to me in my dreams last night...

One - I was riding a bike. If you look up the word bicycle as a symbol in dreams, you will find that it means that you are trying to create a balance in your life. Balance between work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. -- This couldn't be more true for me right now. Previously I was way too focused on work work work that I allowed everything else to fall by the wayside. My biggest goal right now has been to devote time to work, play, and self betterment. My soul wants to find a good balance with all of that and more.

Two - I was packing my things, which were all strewn across the floor, into a bag. In dreams, packing is symbolic of big changes ahead for you. (as if I haven't been through enough already, sheesh!). I think that my soul is telling me that maybe I will experience some internal changes through the balances I acquire in life. The dream also indicates that one is putting past issues to rest; putting the past behind them. Moving on. -- This is the best news I could get! My soul is ready for whatever comes next.

Three - I had to stop by the store, although I didn't end up buying anything. If a grocery or convenient store presents itself in your dream, it could mean a few different things. the explanation that sticks out the most to me is that "you may be brainstorming for new ideas or looking for the various choices out there for you." -- I think this goes right along with the theme of balance and change. Maybe I didn't buy anything because I'm not quite ready to know what I want just yet.

My dream was a lot more extensive than that, but those were the symbols that really stuck out to me. I think that paying attention to the symbols in your dreams is a great way to learn about yourself. It's how you listen to what your soul is trying to tell you, and if you listen, then you can figure things out with a lot more clarity.

If you are interested in researching the meanings of your dreams. pay close attention to them and then look up the meanings of the different symbols you notice. I use:
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/
It's a pretty good site and for the most part I am able to find the symbols I am looking for.

Try it out. See what you can learn. :)

Comfort Zone?... Where Did You Go?

It's so crazy to go through old photos, social media, journals, blogs -- whatever -- and just see how much your life has changed over the years...Everyone goes through change. We've been doing it our whole lives. And yet, for some reason, when the time for change comes again, often times it still terrifies us. It terrifies me. But I think the important thing is that once we accept that change is going to happen, we finally are able to feel the excitement that comes with it.

I think I'm just about ready to let go of my fear and embrace the changes that, at this point, have nearly enveloped me. It's weird. I brought most of my recent changes upon myself. I invited them. But for some reason, despite the fact that I initiated the change, I have been fighting it, letting it drag me behind, kicking and screaming. How is that possible?

I think the hardest change for me was the one that I knew was coming, but that I was not wanting. I knew deep down, that in order for my transformation to be complete, I would have to allow that last change to take place. But I didn't want it, and I refused to accept it, so I began to fight all the other changes too. I wanted to leave them behind and go running back into my comfort zone. I looked for a reason. I looked for excuses. But I didn't find any. I couldn't make it back to my comfort zone. I had already left, so it was too late. And, then the last change came. I wasn't ready. But I had no choice. It was by far, the scariest, the hardest, and the worst. But, I know now, that it needed to happen. I needed it. And he needed it too.

Life has to change in order to go on. We have to change in order to grow. And acceptance is half the battle. Once you accept it, you can appreciate it. You can become excited about the new things that are coming and that will continue to come. You can embrace the change.

I'm almost there. I can almost taste it. Excitement rests on the corners of my lips, ready to turn them up as soon as I let it. I can almost feel it.

A new era has begun. And this one is all about me.