So I'm sitting in class right now and ready to just get up and leave. It's the 6th week of school and I'm already super sick of it. Can you say senioritis? I really am to the point where ii just can't wait to graduate and just focus on making money and enjoying my time off. Despite this, I know i'm really going to miss school once i'm done. But for now, school and work are pretty much consuming all of my time. I hardly ever have the time to do the thingds that I enjoy. If I decide to sit down one night and spend a coulde hours drawing or practicing the piano, or go out with friends, I sacrifice crucial homework time and potentialy my grades. Not to mention the fact that I work 5 days a week serving on hit or miss shifts where I either make money or I don't. Working takes alot of energy, so going home to do homework is the last thing I want to do after a long day at work.
but still it must be done.
I just have to keep telling myself "you're almost done, just hold out a little longer."
motivation is what I need. Motivation.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
a death in the family
it happened on thursday night. I had just gotten back to tampa and was out with some friends. But I didn't hear till early the next morning. It was a phonecall from my mom. When did it happen? I asked. She responded, she died around midnigt last night. I told her I loved her and would see her in the morning.
The next day my sister and I got up early and made the drive back home. From there we went straight to my grandma's house. Everyone was quiet and kept to themselves, so my sisters and I sat on the couch and worked on shool work. Over the next two days we spent time with lots of family, looking at pictures and talking about our favorite memories and stories. We shared things that some of us had written for her and we listened to stories we'd never heard before. Its a sad time but i feel like we're all a little closer because of it. Different people have been in and out of the house bringing with them fod and condolences. Today is the wake and we will go look at my grandmother and say goodbye while friends and family come to tell us how sorry they are. Tomorrow is the funeral service and we will say good bye to her forever and be done with this sad time. We'll all move on with our lves and hopefully each of us will take a little piece of her with us so that she'll be with us always.
The next day my sister and I got up early and made the drive back home. From there we went straight to my grandma's house. Everyone was quiet and kept to themselves, so my sisters and I sat on the couch and worked on shool work. Over the next two days we spent time with lots of family, looking at pictures and talking about our favorite memories and stories. We shared things that some of us had written for her and we listened to stories we'd never heard before. Its a sad time but i feel like we're all a little closer because of it. Different people have been in and out of the house bringing with them fod and condolences. Today is the wake and we will go look at my grandmother and say goodbye while friends and family come to tell us how sorry they are. Tomorrow is the funeral service and we will say good bye to her forever and be done with this sad time. We'll all move on with our lves and hopefully each of us will take a little piece of her with us so that she'll be with us always.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Here's to Hope
Yesterday I had to leave school pretty abruptly, missing two of my classes, to go back home so I could ride with my mom and sister over to my Grandma's house.
Early last year, my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, in the fourth stage. Throughout the past year she has been going through chemo and other treatments to help get rid of the cancer.
Her last treatment was the other day and to the comfort of my family, the cancer was gone.
Unfortunately, that last session of chemo was a little too much for her. The soft tissue on several of her internal organs was zapped and singed.
Yesterday, when we arrived, she was in a very weak state, unable to breath on her own, or speak, or eat, or even move voluntarily. It's an awful thing to see someone you love and care about so much in such a state. I could hardly stand it.
My aunts and uncles had a priest come to the house yesterday to give her her last rights. Everyone was certain she wouldn't make it through the day.
Today, she is still here with us, and, to our amazement, she is doing a little better. Today, she is more alert, and is more responsive to the people in the room with her. She tries now to speak, and although none of it is coherent, it's still better than yesterday. She was able to have a drink of water today, which is wonderful considering she did not drink or eat all day yesterday. Today, the odds are a little more on her side.
I don't know if my Grandma will make it through or not, but one things for certain; my Grandma is a strong woman, and she's made it through a lot, and I don't think she'll leave us anytime soon without at least a fight. I have a lot of hope and faith that she just might pull through. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I can't help but feel that it's not her time. Not yet.
Right now, is a time of stress for my family and myself. We are all concerned about this woman we all love so dearly, as well as all the other strife we have going on in each of our lives. But oddly enough, sitting here surrounded by my family, all of us hoping and waiting, there's a little bit of comfort, and the stress, just for the moment, has gone away.
Early last year, my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, in the fourth stage. Throughout the past year she has been going through chemo and other treatments to help get rid of the cancer.
Her last treatment was the other day and to the comfort of my family, the cancer was gone.
Unfortunately, that last session of chemo was a little too much for her. The soft tissue on several of her internal organs was zapped and singed.
Yesterday, when we arrived, she was in a very weak state, unable to breath on her own, or speak, or eat, or even move voluntarily. It's an awful thing to see someone you love and care about so much in such a state. I could hardly stand it.
My aunts and uncles had a priest come to the house yesterday to give her her last rights. Everyone was certain she wouldn't make it through the day.
Today, she is still here with us, and, to our amazement, she is doing a little better. Today, she is more alert, and is more responsive to the people in the room with her. She tries now to speak, and although none of it is coherent, it's still better than yesterday. She was able to have a drink of water today, which is wonderful considering she did not drink or eat all day yesterday. Today, the odds are a little more on her side.
I don't know if my Grandma will make it through or not, but one things for certain; my Grandma is a strong woman, and she's made it through a lot, and I don't think she'll leave us anytime soon without at least a fight. I have a lot of hope and faith that she just might pull through. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I can't help but feel that it's not her time. Not yet.
Right now, is a time of stress for my family and myself. We are all concerned about this woman we all love so dearly, as well as all the other strife we have going on in each of our lives. But oddly enough, sitting here surrounded by my family, all of us hoping and waiting, there's a little bit of comfort, and the stress, just for the moment, has gone away.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Broke, and Much to do
So, I didn't get the job. Had I, I most certainly would have known by now, seeing as Yesterday would have been my first day reporting to work.
But, I'm okay with that. I'm not completely sure that I'm ready to leave the comfort of my job as a server just yet. There's no other job that I could have right now that would pay me as well for the same amount of hours. And school needs to be my main focus right now anyway, so a full time job is probably not a good idea, for now anyway.
Helped my beautiful boyfriend move this weekend. how exhausting. I had to leave to go to work one day though. But the next day I got to help clean the old place all day. What fun--not.
Anyway, I have nothing extra special to report, and I should be doing homework anyway. There is much to do today, and, rent is due :( boo. There goes my first paycheck. Now I have to wait two weeks to actually have money. Awesome.
But, I'm okay with that. I'm not completely sure that I'm ready to leave the comfort of my job as a server just yet. There's no other job that I could have right now that would pay me as well for the same amount of hours. And school needs to be my main focus right now anyway, so a full time job is probably not a good idea, for now anyway.
Helped my beautiful boyfriend move this weekend. how exhausting. I had to leave to go to work one day though. But the next day I got to help clean the old place all day. What fun--not.
Anyway, I have nothing extra special to report, and I should be doing homework anyway. There is much to do today, and, rent is due :( boo. There goes my first paycheck. Now I have to wait two weeks to actually have money. Awesome.
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