I want a day job... sometimes

Sometimes, I really love that I work at night because it gives me time to get things done.

I'm a healthier person now because I can never go out to eat. I cook all my own meals and I even started a clean diet... Mostly.

I work out 6 days a week because I have the time and energy.

I wake by the sound of my own internal alarm clock and let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter. I'm ALWAYS well rested. It's great

Most importantly, I feel great. I've never been as healthy, gotten as much needed sleep, or felt as great as I do now with my steady night job schedule.

But, my social life is incredibly scarce and some times it really gets to me. I rarely go anywhere other than work and to the grocery store. I miss out on soooo many things and it really makes me sad. People talk about getting together some nights and all I can do is pretend like I don't care that I can't go.

It's also frustrating that I can't really relate to people who work days. they're tired when I'm awake. They're awake when I'm sleeping. They want to go home when I'm ready to go out. And they go out when it's time for me to go to work.

That's really it. Those are the only bad things that I can think of at the moment. I don't know if I would want to trade my new lifestyle for a social life though.

I mean, there are two nights a week that I'm able to join everyone, so it's not like I never get to go out or be social. And I save money by not doing it as much.

I guess I really don't know what I want.

The Dangers of Getting Comfortable

I really love the non-profit organization that I work for and I really wouldn't mind working there for a while...

Unfortunately, my current position doesn't allow me to put to use the piece of paper that says I'm awesome for going through 4 years of higher education. So Naturally, I want to grow within the company and advance to a position that does require that degree. It's a desire that I have, but one that I've come to find I'm skeptical about acting upon.

How do you know whether or not it's too soon to apply for a different position within a company? How do you know when you've waited too long and stayed in a position longer than you should have. How do you know it wont be challenging, or time consuming? What if you don't like it?

All of these questions come to mind when seriously considering a move like this.

I've seen a couple of open positions that I could have applied for (and while none of them required a degree, they did all have the potential for advancement), but I haven't applied for any. I've come up with excuses like, it's too soon to try and move up already, or But how will I have time for grad school if I'm working a full time job with normal and sometimes extended hours? Well here's what I ask myself now. If there's an opportunity for something better now, why wait? Everything will fall into place right?

There is a position now that I really want, and it DOES require a college degree, which to be honest, scares the crap out of me. My job now is easy and doesn't require much of me. I have to be friendly, quick, efficient and have a pretty good memory. That's it. Sometimes I have to think on my toes, but there's always someone there to help me when I don't know what to do. So obviously, holding a position that would require a lot more out of me, that would require me to figure things out on my own, that would require me to use my education! It scares me senseless.

But I can't let my life be run by fear. I can't let fear stop me from advancing and achieving and excelling. I can't not do something because I'm afraid I'll fail. I just have to try and give it all I've got without letting comfort or fear get in my way.

Hello world. Here comes, Alex.

Big kid toys

So, now that I'm making enough money to comfortably sustain myself, of course, all I can think about is buying things that will make it hard.

I really want a new car and, theoretically, I can afford it. But, at the moment, it would make life a lot more financially challenging...
So, here's the plan:

1. Continue to work and save money.

2. Put time and money into fixing up my current car so that when the time comes to trade it in and buy a new one, I can get the most value out of it.

3. Buy myself other new things like clothes and shoes and makeup to keep me distracted :p

The point is, I can't get ahead if myself here. A new car can wait, especially since I already have a car that works well and that is completely paid off (thanks mom and dad). I should probably focus more on saving for now so that when I do need a new car and I can comfortable afford it, then I can easily get it.

My new grown up mentality seems to be overcoming my impulsive side (this morning I was fully prepared to go to a dealer ship and buy a car today, heh). Thank god I thought that one trough!

Higher Education

I've always been conscious of the fact that to get to where I want to be, I'll probably need more educational training, but until now, I hadn't considered Grad school.

Now a days, while obtaining a bachelors degree is a monumental feat, it's still sometimes not good enough. There are hundreds of people out there who might be more qualified than me or you who are trying to do the same thing. That puts a damper on things -- therefore, I have decided to go to Grad school. Hey, it can only help, right?

I've picked out a few schools with the program I want to apply for and I've researched what I need to do in order to get in. Now I just have to do it. Step one, get a kick-ass score on the GRE to make up for my less than perfect GPA. As soon as I collect my GRE study book from the person I leant it to, I'm going to start working my ass off to get prepared to make a really awesome score when it finally comes time to take the test.

I've also already started working on my personal statement, but I'm going to wait till I actually start applying to start hunting down old professors for letters of recommendation. Thats going to be one of the hardest things I think. I didn't make a point to become a memorable student to any of my teachers because I never thought I would go to grad school. Luckily, there are a few whom I think will be able to help me out.

I really want to do this. I'm scared out of my mind because I know it's going to be a huge challenge for me, but, I know that I can achieve what I put my mind to.

Rock and Roll baby.

The "Cha-ching" Instinct

For the next few weeks, I am going to be a minimalist. Why? Might you ask. Well, the answer is really quite simple... I'm broke.

Wait a minute. Don't you have a full time job now, with a steady pay check, making more money?

Well, yes, but as everyone knows, but probably doesn't realize, one thing that goes right along with graduating college and getting a full time job is the accumulation of bills. I am now paying every last one of my bills all by myself, and believe me, they cost a pretty penny. But that's not the problem. My pay checks more than cover them. So here's another little known fact that people don't really realize.

When you make more money, you spend more money -- It's true. I've been a spend-aholic lately. I just buy things on a whim without really even thinking about it. It's like, hey I want that -- purchase.
No more of this, "I want that, too bad I can't afford it" crap.

But that's not the problem either.

When you make more money, you want to live in a nicer apartment, in a nicer neighborhood, with nicer things. That'll be first and last months rent plus security, please. Oh you have a pet too? don't forget about the pet deposit.

Everything about being out of college and working a full time job makes life more expensive. And if you had to take out loans while in school, six months after graduation, you'll really start to regret that decision. Another hefty bill to add to the list.

So how do you avoid going broke?

Just be smart. Don't spend your money on every little thing you see and want. Set aside an amount out of every check to save. Budget the things you need and make compromises with yourself about whats important. If you want to have a night out with your friends, fine. but if you want to save some money, pick up some beer or wine from the convenient store and make it a night in instead.

It's okay to splurge a little now and then, just don't make a habit out of it.

Oh, and don't have kids, because in that case, you can just kiss all your money goodbye.

Pros and Cons of the Office Life.

Working in an office job where I actually get to sit down and work comfortably is so nice compared to working in a job where I'm running around like a crazy person, sweating, stressing out and constantly trying to catch my breath. I think a lot of people really don't understand how great it is or appreciate being able to sit at work. Well at least people who haven't worked in a restaurant.

I may just be biased -- after 4 years of sore legs and being exhausted after work, a desk job is like a blessing. But, it comes with it's obvious problems.

Problem number 1. I get tired of sitting. My legs are restless and I find myself constantly changing positions in my chair or trying to find an excuse to stand up and walk for a second. Maybe that's just me. While I do like to sit and work at my own pace, I often find myself wanting to move around. So I do. I think it's important -- it keeps your blood flowing, burns a few calories, and gets you away from the desk for a moment, clears your mind, whatever.

That being said, these are the excuses I use for getting up: using the restroom - several times through out my 8 hour shift, grabbing a snack from the break area, faxing something somewhere, printing something, or even just to walk around the room once (although some people look at me funny when I do that, heh).

Problem number two 2. It's harder to control your weight. Working in a restaurant, I was able to eat like complete crap and for the most part keep my body the same without much change. For example, everyday that I worked at beefs, I ate one meal there, which is probably somewhere between 800 and 1500 calories depending on what it was. But, the constant movement, luckily for me, didn't allow for much of it to show. Now, working at a desk job, I've had to change my diet completely and add in more exercise in order to keep my body the same. Granted, I'm not eating at beef's every day anymore, but I'm also not walking 10,000 plus steps every day anymore either. So, I had to compromise. Now, for the most part, I eat much healthier, I exercise more and I try to eat out less (because believe it or not, restaurant food is just bad for you). And, through all this, I've even managed to shed a few pounds, and I know I'm healthier -- so maybe this is more of a plus.

Problem number 3. Sometimes the day just goes by so darn slow. In a restaurant, you're always busy (for the most part), so time flies by. In the office, its often slow and quiet...and slow. So, those 8 hours can sometimes be painful. But, I get through it (having a computer in front of you all the time seems to help).

But despite all these problems (which for the most part seem to have easy solutions), working in an office, (in my opinion) is still way better than working at a job with unsteady pay, where you are on your feet all day and where you sometimes have to sweat a little. Just saying.

I Hate Goodbyes

Today was bitter-sweet.

I closed a chapter of my life by putting in my two weeks notice with Beef O'Brady's. It's strange because I've been working there for the past 4 years and for the last 3 of those 4, Beef's has been and incredibly large part of my life -- more so than it probably should have been. It's almost like leaving home. Most of my friends came from there as did my boyfriend and many of my meals - heh. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be done working there. This last year, serving has been very difficult for me, I'd even venture to say that I hated it. I'm ready to move on with my career, and I have. But like anything that's been a normalcy in ones life for so long, it's hard to say goodbye.

I know that every now and then I'll miss it. I'll miss making good tips, and getting free food, and meeting really nice people every now and then.

But I won't miss the bad tips - sometimes no tips. I won't miss the rude people, feeling like a servant, or feeling like everyone thinks I'm below them. I won't miss running around like a crazy person, and I won't miss being on my feet all day.

Needless to say, it's just time to move on. Goodbye Beef O'Brady's. It's been a good run.